Most Wanted Monday: The Aesthetic Anarchist Strikes Again
Most Wanted Monday: The Aesthetic Anarchist Strikes Again
馃彔 Mayor's House Gets Moussed
In a peculiar repeat offense, the notorious aesthetic anarchist Mark has once again targeted the mayor's residence. The culprit's signature move? Replacing all lightbulbs with harsh white lighting and stocking the refrigerator with mousse.
This follows a pattern of design-focused break-ins, including December's infamous Heist Reverser incident involving strategic placement of flea market decor.
- No valuables were taken
- Charged with crimes against feng shui
- Second identical incident in 6 months
Local interior designers have been called for emergency consultations.
MOST WANTED MONDAY 馃毃 Mark broke into the mayor鈥檚 house. Didn鈥檛 take valuables鈥攋ust replaced all lightbulbs with bright white lights and filled the fridge with mousse. Arrested for crimes against feng shui.
Cel Mates Gear Supply Chain Update
**Important Update for Cel Mates Community** The team is currently experiencing issues with merchandise discount applications for Cel Mates and Dudes gear. Ricardo is actively seeking new supplier partnerships to resolve these challenges. - Current status: Discount system temporarily paused - Action in progress: Sourcing alternative suppliers - Next steps: Await further announcements *Members are advised to hold off on attempting to apply discounts until the situation is resolved.*
Cel Mates Crypt Activity Alert
A new alert has been issued for Cel Mates community members to check activity in the Crypt area. This follows a pattern of similar notifications, including previous crypt-related announcements and a notable sewer gathering alert from October 2024. - Latest alert marks continued engagement within the community space - Pattern suggests regular community activities and gatherings - Members encouraged to participate in current crypt events *Members should check the Crypt for latest developments*
Most Wanted Monday: The Curious Case of CM Tina/Sheila
In a bizarre turn of events, Community Member Tina allegedly staged her own death to evade a substantial Uber Eats debt accumulated over 7 years. She later resurfaced as Sheila, claiming to be her own long-lost twin. Local residents became suspicious when Sheila displayed identical behaviors to Tina, including: - Ordering the exact same curry dishes - Engaging in similar confrontations with local pigeons This incident follows March's case of Velma Scarrington, who replaced city parking meters with philosophical quote-dispensing replicas before disappearing. *Authorities continue to investigate the apparent resurrection.*
Most Wanted Monday: The Psychological Burglar
Gordon Flett, now in custody, orchestrated an unusual crime targeting 12 mailboxes in a residential cul-de-sac. Instead of theft, he inserted mysterious handwritten postcards designed to create emotional distress. - Messages appeared to be from forgotten acquaintances - One postcard contained only the word WHY - No items were stolen, but caused significant psychological impact - Charged with psychological burglary This incident follows a pattern of unconventional crimes in the area, including the Heist Reverser who left unwanted decorative items in homes. **Law enforcement advisory**: Report any suspicious mailbox activity to local authorities.